Isn't it annoying how in some ways the more you learn, the harder it gets?
When I first started, it was like, muscle engagement, what? I'll just dégagé with hips swinging away! Hoist my leg up there in développé using my hip flexors without butt or inner thighs? Why not.
Now that I ostensibly know a bit better, every little thing is harder. Can't plié without thinking about resistance and using all those under muscles. Can't sit in my hips instead of pulling up. Etc., etc., etc,....
And all the mistakes become more noticeable and drive me crazier than ever. Especially when my mind knows what I'm doing wrong, but my body won't cooperate.
But I wonder if that is what drives people like us to ballet, that the most basic thing can always be better and more perfect.
(Insert Natalie Portman Black Swan I Was Perfect GIF here)
I most keenly feel how imperfect I am when I take privates with FBT (Friend Ballet Teacher). When you have that much undivided attention, you get corrected on everything. It's when I make the most improvement, but it's also the most daunting.